In 2017, I was diagnosed with OCD, so everything I do is an addiction in its own right. The way I have to rub my eyebrows, the amount of times I need to wash my hands, which side of the block I should walk my dog, if I should restart my paper, when am I allowed to take my break, how long I am supposed to work… my mind creates rules for every aspect of my life. Funnily enough, it even created rules for when I could break the rules. It is quite exhausting sometimes, but I feel as though without such compulsions, or little addictions, I cannot function. I feel as though I need them to be a contributing member of society. I am excited about this project because I can test my OCD and see if I can stop relying on it so much.

     I decided to choose my obsession with note-taking as the addiction to subside. I am very meticulous when it comes to taking notes, especially when it comes to my biology notes. I am extra careful because I do not want to miss key details. This is somewhat reasonable, but I tend to take it to the extreme. I end up writing information that isn’t going to be on the test anyway. I also spend a lot of time color-coding my notes, which although I enjoy doing, my OCD makes it a bit burdensome. I sometimes even rewrite an entire page of notes if I feel I color-coded something incorrectly.

     To combat these issues, I decided to “care less.” I forced myself to continue writing, even if I feel I made a “mistake.” This is an extremely difficult task as my OCD badgers me to obey it, but I prevailed. I think I did have one setback where I did rewrite a page, but sometimes you have to take it two steps forward, and one step back. Another thing I have noticed myself doing unfortunately is that I would replace this compulsion with a different one, but I’m going to have to forgive myself on that one because that will take me months to work on, far beyond this project.

     I am ecstatic to continue on, even if this is stepping out of my comfort zone.